We all know an elderly couple that has been together for 60+ years and think, “wow, that’s a long time!” All anyone ever wants in life is to find that one person that they can give their all to. That one person that they can love and be loved by for the rest of their lives.
Growing up I always said that I wanted a relationship like my parents. My mom and dad have been together for over 30 years – since high school. While I’m sure it hasn’t always been gumdrops and lollipops, somehow they have stuck together (that’s some serious glue!).
Working in the healthcare industry I have seen my fair share of couples that have been together since they were 15/16, married for over 70 (and sometimes even 80) years, and always wondered what the secret was. A wise man once told me, “You have to vulnerable. You have to be willing to let every wall down and let that person in. You have to love just as much as you want loved and I don’t only mean you have to love that person just as much. I mean, you have to love yourself just as much too. How can you love someone else if you can’t even love YOU? Oh, and relationship is not going to work itself out, you have to put the work into it. If you’re not ready to work, you’re not ready to love.”
I know some of that may sound a little bit cliché but seriously…think about it! How can we really love another human being and make them feel worthy if we can’t do that for ourselves? This is something that I never understood until recently. I struggled for years with self worth and self love. I had walls built on top of walls. And vulnerability? HA! Forget it! But these wise words finally lit up my brain and I realized that I was NOT okay. Over the past year I was finally able to find my worth and my love. All it took was for me to take a step back from the life I was living and realize that I was not who I wanted to be – I was not where I wanted to be. I let go and focused on me, what made me happy and what it was that I was looking for.
Sometimes I know it’s hard to put ourselves first but overall, that is exactly what we have to do. You have to love you too. I have kids. I know it’s hard! However, kids need happy parents to be happy kids!
If you are unhappy right now, with any aspect of your life; take a step back. Breathe. Focus. It’s okay.
